Yesterday I was in the check-out line at Trader Joe's and, true to my colorful nature, had on an assortment of purples and greens. The woman directly in front of me in line turned to me and told me how much she liked my purple outfit. Well, instead of just saying thank you I ended up replying with some self-deprecating answer about getting dressed in the dark that morning. She looked at me like I was nuts.
So this all got me wondering. Why can't I just accept a compliment at face value and think nothing else of it? When she complimented me on my use of the color purple I assumed what she really meant was more along the lines of: "Wow that's a lot of one bright color!"
I should just be able to say thank you and move on. It's really only me who's judging me, and if others are who cares? A very wise woman once told me that what other people think of us is none of our business. I agree. Let people keep their opinions to themselves if they're not positive or constructive.
Let me learn to simply and happily say "Thank you!"
I completely understand where you are coming from - have the exact same issue! Sometimes I just feel like accepting a compliment would sort of be the equivalent to bragging. I never know what to do with them. But like you I am trying to learn :)
ReplyDeleteMany women do this.... I used to, but I am happily full of myself these days, hehe. Seriously though, I know what you mean. All growing up, I was taught to be modest, humble, but I read something somewhere probably on the internet, I really can't remember where that stuck with me: it is awkward for most people to give a compliment, especially to a stranger, and when we are "modest and humble," it's really like saying "you're stupid and you don't know what you are talking about," and then the complimenter feels like a doofus... My sense of guilt got the best of me from then on and now I say "thank you."
ReplyDeleteA great book to read that I really love is called The Four Agreements, totally helpful for womenfolk like us. *hugs*
Very well said, Monica. :) Compliments still do make me uncomfortable, but I'm usually pretty good about simply replying "thank you". On the other hand, I've discovered that I'm more likely to put myself down somehow or otherwise "ruin" the experience of being complimented when it is a person close to me saying it. Riddle me that??
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